what i’m getting from this is that the average driver can only be convinced to drive safely when threatened with immediate violence
the worst thing in the world is doing things. the second worst thing in the world is not doing things. how has no one ever come up with a solution for this
this story is already very funny but the added articles on the side are killing me
DONT CLICK ON THAT!!! whew. sorry. just be careful.. many people dont know that .pdf stands for “poison dart frog.”
I'm generally of the opinion that trying to resurrect prematurely cancelled shows is like necromancy—odds are they'll come back wrong.
Except for Galavant. Any Galavant revivial will be funnier the longer it stayed cancelled.
Tags pass peer review, etc, because they SO perfectly capture the spirit of the show.
It is 1880s America, you are about to spawn as a Historically Significant White Guy. Choose a class:
TROUBLEMAKING FRONTIER PREACHER
- Special Power: Good Christian. Your vague adherence to American protestantism will ensure that law enforcement does not bother you whatsoever.
- Victory condition: Fuck enough of your followers wives to start an inbred theofascist micronation.
MANICALLY AMBITIOUS CON ARTIST
- Special Power: Basic Literacy. You're poor, but you know how to read. They'll never expect it. You may forge literally any document and it will be believed 100% of the time.
- Victory Condition: Steal enough money to fuck off to Latin America. A Spanish speaking nation might as well be the moon to your debtors.
EUROPEAN NOBLE FAILSON
- Special Power: Colonial Wealth. Your funny accent, foppish dress, and noble title, will make any American think you are totally good to buy it on credit.
- Victory Condition: Become the boytoy to the wife of some borderline-gangster politician and save up enough political capital to run for office and get addicted to opium.
DOOMED FRONTIER EXPLORER
- Special Power: How The Fuck Are You Alive. Your freakish diet of pork, whiskey, and maple syrup, makes you entirely immune to all physical injury and disease. Somehow.
- Victory Condition: You have one mission, and one mission only. You need to piss off some completely friendly natives. You need to piss them off so bad they leave your stupid ass to starve in a food forest they've been cultivating for literally thousands of years.
one of my professors, a historian who has been interviewed as an expert in various documentaries, said that the secret to documentaries is saying something very obvious, as slowly as possible. for example, if you say “the romans…….. enjoyed their dinner parties” or "being a gladiator... was... very... dangerous" then the filmmakers can get that clip and immediately pan over some cool pictures of mosaics or something. this has forever changed the way i view documentaries